The man approached the bank counter and handed a note to the teller.
The teller read it.
It was a robbery.
The teller slowly looked up to assess the robber.
He slowly got up, handed the paper back with one hand, and picked a wrapped candy from the desk with the other.
– Sir, I must inform you that the New Bank of England abides by the 121st Amendment.
He began unwrapping the candy.
The robber paused for a bit.
– That… doesn’t change anything.
– It might… I’m one of the new employees.
The man paused again, trying to assess the seriousness of that affirmation.
– You…
– I have multiple personalities, yes.
– Still…
– One of them is extremely dangerous.
– I have a gun.
– Then you’ll probably kill me. You’ll have to if you want to save yourself.
The man’s voice trembled:
– No, no, no. I read! I know! Your other personalities can only arise to save you, not to doom you, and if that other personality arises you will end up dead! I will shoot you!
– It will arise nonetheless.
– You can’t! You can’t switch personalities at will!
– You’re right; I can’t.
The teller put the candy in his mouth.
The man smiled.
– Then I get what I want.
– Oh, I just said I couldn’t switch at will, I didn’t say I couldn’t change at all.
– But… How could you?
The teller slowly put down the candy wrapper and swallowed.
– That’s what the pill was for.
Michael J McCluskey 